Fifteen...

Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them.

When you're fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin round.

In your life, you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team.
I didn't know it at fifteen...
I've found that time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you're supposed to be,
I didn't know who I was supposed to be, at fifteen.

Now, in all fairness, I was fully warned about the emotional effect this song could have on me long before I really got to know our girls at Safe and yet every time I hear it, it still stops me in my tracks. I seriously doubt that Taylor Swift thought about teenage girls coming out of prostitution when she wrote that song. But the realities of those words for our girls are astounding and I could write an entire blog on that. However, today this song hit me a little differently as I couldn't help but sing it over and over in my head while looking at a couple teenage girls' (from back home) Facebook pages. Pictures with their boyfriends graced their wall with captions like "Love of my life" or "You're the only one I want in my future" along with pictures of themselves proving that, somewhere in their past, someone told them they weren't beautiful. Now don't get me wrong, these girls didn't think twice about the things they posted and they are no different than MOST 15 year old girls in America, which breaks my heart more than consoles it. It is in my brokenness (and not criticism, honestly) that I write this blog.

So what has led the youth of America to looking for "love" in relationships that last maybe 2 months and what is this "love" they say they've found? Why are they settling for acceptance and conformity instead of daring to be different and treading new paths? Where the heck are the ones who are responsible for them? Why isn't anyone standing up to bridge the gap? Why is this generation allowed to be called hopeless and worthless? Somewhere in the pasts of our youth, someone was able to crush their dreams, kill their self-esteem, and succeed in making them believe that this is as good as it gets. The media is giving them unrealistic images that they are supposed to live up to and body types that are only found in picture editing programs. So they look to eating disorders, promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, depression, relationships, etc. to fill the void and to satisfy that longing for something, anything, to make them feel valued.

What's the solution? Well, I think Miss Taylor Swift said it perfectly..."You just might find who you're supposed to be..." Yep, show them who they're supposed to be, who they can be, who they are CALLED to be.  Steven Furtick said "They don't need rules to live by, they need a calling to live for." Now, before you run off and decide to let your youth go buck wild because of that statement, let me explain. For so long, we have sat by and given them reasons and accepted their excuses for their behaviors, believing the lies of the world that this generation really is good for nothing. And instead of addressing the source of their actions, we give them rules: no PDA (and God forbid we even start to discuss sex...ahhhh!!!!), no alcohol, drugs, etc., sit still, quit texting, quit talking, don't do this, don't do that...blah, blah, blah...and you know what happens? Even the ones who are being "good" at church, if they don't have a firm foundation on the love of Christ and who they are in Him, are discovering ways to live two totally different lives seemingly independent of each other; one at church and one away from church. Trust me, I know, I did it long enough myself. But I refuse to settle for that for our youth. We've let "they've just had a really hard life" or "their parents abused them and left them" turn into "they're worthless and just getting them to come to church is doing good" and it has become the norm. But I beg to differ, "To be a star, you must shine your own light, following your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest." Yes, their backgrounds are quite complex and troubling but that didn't disqualify any other great leaders who have stood on this earth or any of the disciples either and I believe that's exactly WHY they are destined for greatness.  The youth of today are living in and with some of the darkest times that we have experienced; the perfect condition for stars to shine brightly! It's time we stand up and show them what it's like to live in a calling, to walk in a destiny, and to claim the greatness that God has earnestly called us to. We have to give them something worth living and dying for, a vision to strive towards, and a dream and hope to cling to.

This generation is, without a doubt, destined for greatness and hand-chosen by God to lay aside everything and to totally rock this world. I refuse to stand in the way of that, so I've taken it as my personal responsibility to make sure that every young person that I have the chance to mentor knows that they are capable of changing the world and I, for one, will be behind them every step (and stumble) along the way. Cheering them on, picking them up, crying with them, laughing with them, slapping sense into them (I didn't say they were always rational beings!), and loving them unconditionally. I hope you'll be brave enough to join me in taming these hurricanes into bright shining stars :)

My First 7 Lessons of 2011

1.  God really does know what He’s doing when He puts certain people in our lives and sometimes going back to those people is the best therapy any psychologist could ever prescribe.

I spent the first few days of 2011 with my incredible sister and although we have arguments just like all other siblings, she knows me better than anyone else and knows what I’m saying even when I’m not speaking.  She thinks everything that comes out of my mouth is absolutely hilarious and we tend to go back to our childhood days of hysterical laughter and giddiness whenever we’re together.  What gets me the most though, is when she quotes something that I said years ago; 1. because I didn’t think she ever actually listened to me and 2. psh, whatever, I give bad advice so come up with something else to make me feel better, haha!

2.  Two things are needed to cure any problem: fresh air and mangoes.

After only a couple months in Manila, I had forgotten that there were places in the world with trees and grass and green stuff around, let alone air that is fresh enough that you feel safe to take deep breaths without wondering how many years it is taking off your life. And if mangoes can’t put a smile on your face, well I don’t know what can…

3.  When a But-But man walks by carrying a prized native chicken into the kitchen, you know what your dinner plans are and there’s no way you would ever think about turning them down.

And I’m glad it wasn’t an option…my favorite meal so far! Yummy native chicken, native rice, and ginger soup!!!

4.  The words “osawa asna” have the ability to make you smile and get extremely nervous as all get out at the same time.

First of all those words translate to “husband here.”  The reason they make me smile: 1. its mostly said by the elderly people which means they like and approve of you enough that they want you to stick around so marriage is clearly the best option to making sure that you’ll be back to visit and 2. it means they really care about you and your well-being and the thought of you being alone scares the crap out of them and just to make sure you’re happy and taken care of, they’re willing to give up their son.  However, that also means that marriage plans and arrangements get thrown at you all the time and you have to be super careful because you eat the wrong pig or dance the wrong dance and BAM! you find yourself married without even knowing what hit you.

5.  A guy can be strong enough to carry a 500 lb log up and down a mountain, including over 500 stairs, but still shy enough to need the encouragement of 15 other guys before working up the courage to say hello.

They can sing the courting song (with a little remix to add in “American” and “white girls”) in the church, which just happened to be right beside the house we were staying in (convenient), without any reservation.  But God forbid they let us see their faces when they speak to us (so you can imagine how rare/nonexistent hugs are, which is really difficult for a person whose love language is physical touch such as myself. So warning to yall back home...get ready for the hug fest when I return!!!) Apparently, letters (for all you kids, these are things that you write on a piece of paper with a pen that you hold in your hand, very 90’s) are how the guys here show interest/propose a date (which is a whole other blog for another time).  I really don’t see how anyone ends up married here…which makes #3 even more complex…

6.  Once someone has a part of your heart, they have it forever and nothing, not even 5 years of time or thousands of miles, can take it back.

Oh Maritess…how I love that girl!  Five years ago a dirty, little 6 year old stole my heart (and all my cookies) and not a day went by that I didn’t think about her.  I know I annoyed Crystal to death by asking about her 24/7.  After so much time, I assumed that she would have forgotten me or at least not been able to recognize me if she saw me again…I couldn’t have been more wrong.  As we were walking down the mountain on our way to Bugnay, she was coming up.  I knew who she was the moment I saw her and from her reaction she knew me as well.  She was smiling from ear to ear and met up with us in Bugnay right after we made it there.  It was clearly evident that she knows shes my favorite as she walked around telling everyone my name with this “Yeah, I’m her favorite and I can get by with anything” attitude (she was right).  She didn’t leave my side until we left 2 days later.  Nothing has changed, even 5 years later, I’m still plotting ways to sneak her into my suitcase and bring her with me wherever I go…I’ll let you know how it works out!

7.  I can ride the fastest, most-dangerous roller coasters with a smile on my face. I can get tattoos without flinching.  I can have 16 gauge needles pierced through my body without even thinking twice about it.  I can leave my entire way of life and comfort to work with girls in the developing world, which brings its own lists of risks, without even considering it to be a sacrifice.  I’ve done a lot of things, been a lot of places, loved a lot of people but there’s only one thing that’s ever made me shake in my skin with fear, literally.

I honestly don’t even know where to begin with this one besides the fact that the only thing that’s bigger in the Philippines is the rats…and by bigger, I’m talking American cat size bigger.  I woke up the second night in Bugnay to the dog making a terrible whining sound, the screeching of nails against the tin wall, fur rustling against the wall above my head, and a loud thud against the floor.  As I lay there, now obviously wide awake, I curled up close to Crystal praying that she would wake up and save me from this wretched nightmare.  (Side Note: “The Lord is Gracious and Compassionate” seemed appropriate to sing during this time, and I tried, but considering the Lord had just allowed an unearthly-sized beast that was clearly forged in the deepest parts of hell into my room, I was definitely questioning His graciousness AND compassion.)  Thankfully, she woke up. Unthankfully, she fussed at me for squishing her against the wall and fell back to sleep almost immediately (even after I told her about this beast-sized rodent).  The 3 Filipina girls (who were sleeping on the floor, yikes, I know) knocked it away in their sleep as it ran over them and it left our room, finally.  I decided to try to sleep but as soon as I closed my eyes, the pigs went crazy and yep, in came the rat, again.  This time I shot straight up, wide-eyed, and clawing my nails into Crystal’s leg (like that would save me). Crystal hit my back as she said “What in the world is wrong with you?!?!” As I was reiterating the story of this monstrous rat, it ran across the beam in the ceiling and let out some horrible “squeeks.” Finally, Crystal agreed that I was right.  As I sat up I followed the sounds of the rat around the pitch-black room.  I could hear every step it took, every sniff it made, and every sneeze (yes, rats sneeze).  Ugh! I shivered in disgust! The girls on the floor ran it off again, thank God! But this time, the rat went after the chicken and unfortunately, the chicken wasn’t so lucky.  Yep, that’s right, the rat KILLED the chicken! Poor thing but lucky me because this time, the neighbors woke up and chased the rat away (of course it was back into our room but at least someone else was aware!).  it stayed in our room awhile until the girls knocked it out again and finally the neighbors ran it off away from our house.  Of course by this point it was daylight and time for everyone to get up anyways.  One huge rat, a wimpy dog, some terrorized pigs, a dead chicken, and a sleep-deprived Daphne…sounds like a successful last night in Bugnay. 

Just because a blog should never end with a story and visions that would cause nightmares, 

I'll let it end with a few outrageously adorable faces!!!! :)