So, I forgot to post a few blogs when I came back from the Philippines in June...apparently, forgetting to post them was a grave mistake. You can't undo the past but in an effort to present a more hopeful future...I challenge you...
"I remember emailing my sister when I was in high school and she was here, in the Philippines, as a midwifery student. Her words seemed to just flow off the screen and implant deep into my mind as I read them. Every word carried so much weight that it could take me days just to process one paragraph. The wisdom and experiences written in her emails left me dumbfounded every time.
A couple years ago, when I was in undergrad and my sister was living with me, we looked back over some of the things she had written to me during her time abroad. I remember her exclaiming “Oh! How deep and wise I was back then!” as she read her own words.
At this point in my life, I can easily see what she meant. Being here, away from all the drama and routine of every day American life, challenges us to think differently and the perspectives we can get on life while looking at it from the outside, are astounding. It blows my mind the way I think and the way God so clearly speaks to me some days.
As I think about my next step, I’m get nervous. Not because there’s a specific city, state, or even country that I want (or don’t want) to be in or because there’s a specific job opening or course of study or even school that I want (or don’t want) to get in to. Honestly, I’m really open to anywhere and anything that is placed before me right now. But what scares me the most is that I’ll settle. That I’ll settle for routine. That I’ll settle for ordinary. That I’ll settle for mediocrity. That I’ll settle for less than the best that God has planned for me. And the worst part, that I’ll be happy with it. Don’t get me wrong, I could be happy with ordinary and routine, I really could and I don’t necessarily think that I would be at fault for that. But knowing what I know now and seeing what I see now, I don’t want to forget this side of life. I don’t want to forget the dreams that are impossible on my own. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be called radical or extreme. I don’t want to forget the billions of people who don’t know God’s unconditional love. I don’t want to forget that some days are made for the unexpected. I don’t want to forget that I’m surrounded by the sacred. I don’t want to forget this place where I am, right now, at this very moment.
So come June 21st, when I’m back in NC and I’m being tempted to get comfortable and settle back into my old routine, if you see me, will you promise me one thing? Promise me that you won’t let me forget; that you’ll challenge me by asking me difficult questions and refusing to be satisfied until I answer them; that you’ll invite me to lunch just to sit down and talk about the things and issues that are hard to swallow; that you’ll make me look at my own pictures and tell you stories of everything I’ve seen and hand me tissues to wipe my tears as I walk through them; that you’ll call me out when my heart starts to harden because I’ve decided the pain is too much to bear; that you’ll make me stay sensitive and compassionate when sarcasm and cynicism become all to easy to hide behind. Go ahead, I dare you to challenge me…"
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