Found this blog on my computer and realized I never posted it either...should have though...
"A few nights ago I went out with one of my good friends here, at one point during the night she looked at me and asked “Are you afraid of forgetting?” As random as this question may seem to you, it is one that I’ve turned around in my mind over and over as my time in the Philippines comes to an end. I’ve been afraid of forgetting something for quite awhile but I haven’t been able to put my finger on what that “something” is. Because you see, the people and experiences that I’ve had here, well honestly, they are impossible to forget. I cannot forget the faces of the girls that I have come to love so deeply no matter how hard I try. They are forever a part of me. It seems absurd to even think of a time before I knew them…what did I do, who was I before God revealed this immense capacity to love to me? So forget them? Impossible! So what exactly am I afraid of forgetting?
Well, that night, when my friend asked me that question out loud, it hit me. I’m not afraid of forgetting THEM, I’m afraid of forgetting ME. This overwhelming joy, passion for life, I-can’t-believe-I-get-to-do-this feeling that I wake up to everyday, that I jump out of bed for, anxiously awaiting to tackle whatever comes my way and being completely thrilled out of my mind for every step that I am given to take. There’s something that is so freeing in knowing that you get to live out your passion and love like there’s no tomorrow every single day. And here, in the midst of blatant poverty, pain, and suffering, I can’t miss it, my passions surround me everywhere I go and the opportunities to love are right in front of me. Being passionate and loving is easy here. But what about when I go home, where everyone has a routine, where I will eventually settle into a routine…will I turn off my mind and heart to this madly passionate side of me? Will a routine and the tasks of the everyday “normal” turn me into something “normal”? Will I forget what freedom really feels like? Will I forget what overwhelming joy just being alive feels like? Will I wake up every day saying, “I can’t believe I get to do this” when what I’m doing seems “normal”? Forgetting this me that this season in my life has revealed…now THAT is something to be afraid of.
In an effort to not forget me, I’m writing this blog…probably the last one I write before I’m stateside and I see most of you again. I’m begging you, the ones whom I love dearly, don’t expect to see the old Daphne. The selfish, timid, confused, lost, and aimlessly wandering person who was bound by the lies of the past that you knew before is gone. When you see me, EXPECT someone different; EXPECT to get reacquainted with someone that you THOUGHT you knew; EXPECT me to be more passionate than ever; EXPECT me to love at a capacity that seems impossible; EXPECT me to show more grace and mercy than ever before; EXPECT me to change the world. Because even though I WILL fall short of your expectations, I need you to hold me to higher standards because only then will I not be able to forget me.
“Hi, I’m Daphne Cheryl Meeks. I’m passionate, loving, fearless, relentless, and unapologetic. It’s nice to meet you.”"
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